An Update
So an update from my last post. I went in to talk to the kids' teachers today when i dropped them off at school. I needed to warn them of the situation so they can understand any behavioral changes that may occur. Lo and behold the ex and his 'fiancee" were enrolling her kids in school. Now we have two elementary schools in town, but God forbid he think it through before enrolling the kids at the same school. Her daughter and my daughter are in the same grade, which at this school means same class. *sigh*
Oh I almost forgot. Sunday evening when he dropped the kids off, he mentioned going to church that evening. The only church here that has a Sunday evening service is MY church. I go to a small church. By small I mean regular attendance is about 12 people. Some weeks we have more, some weeks less, but we are a small church that is trying to grow. However I at least felt that the addition of him and his new family were unwelcome. I did not say this to him, but I'm pretty sure the look on my face said it all. Hey, it was hard enough to keep my mouth shut! He didn't show for church, but had told the kids that he was going to, so Shorty was very upset. My baby cried, and I felt like dirt because I knew that he didn't go because of me. I can't imagine that he doesn't know that I'm not really happy with the fact that he's here.
I wish he would have thought of the intrusion he's making into my life. This is a small town. There are less than 4,000 here. Why does he have to squeeze himself into every aspect of my life? Why can't he discuss things with me before he makes promises to the kids? Why do I always have to be the bad guy?
I made it through the weekend with no cigarettes and no chocolate. I didn't eat emotionally either...I was too busy feeling nauseous. I'm trying not to let this derail my attempts at a healthier life, but it's really hard right now. Thanks for letting me vent.
Thank you for reading my blog and please feel free to comment.
Oh I almost forgot. Sunday evening when he dropped the kids off, he mentioned going to church that evening. The only church here that has a Sunday evening service is MY church. I go to a small church. By small I mean regular attendance is about 12 people. Some weeks we have more, some weeks less, but we are a small church that is trying to grow. However I at least felt that the addition of him and his new family were unwelcome. I did not say this to him, but I'm pretty sure the look on my face said it all. Hey, it was hard enough to keep my mouth shut! He didn't show for church, but had told the kids that he was going to, so Shorty was very upset. My baby cried, and I felt like dirt because I knew that he didn't go because of me. I can't imagine that he doesn't know that I'm not really happy with the fact that he's here.
I wish he would have thought of the intrusion he's making into my life. This is a small town. There are less than 4,000 here. Why does he have to squeeze himself into every aspect of my life? Why can't he discuss things with me before he makes promises to the kids? Why do I always have to be the bad guy?
I made it through the weekend with no cigarettes and no chocolate. I didn't eat emotionally either...I was too busy feeling nauseous. I'm trying not to let this derail my attempts at a healthier life, but it's really hard right now. Thanks for letting me vent.
Thank you for reading my blog and please feel free to comment.
posted by nebraska girl | 11:09 PM
10 Comments:
I'm so sorry that you are going though this right now...I have no idea why this person thinks this is a good thing!! But YOU must hold on to your sanity... for your children's sake...You are trying hard to have a life change and hang on to it! THE ONLY WAY TO DO THAT IS TO HOLD ONTO JESUS!! Because my youngest daughter just broke off an engagement... I kinda get where you are coming from... her friends don't understand why it's not a good idea for them to invite her and her ex to the same events...(give me a break)I will continue to pray for you!! Do you have a minister or someone who can counsel you in this matter??? If not... find someone... you need emotional support!!
All I can say is I'm so sorry that you are going through this! Please be sure to take good care of yourself while this is happening - make this your top priority. Because if you aren't well, you can't care for your kids well. Oh, and congratulations for being smoke-free during a stressful weekend. That is an amazing accomplishment! Quitting smoking is one of the hardest things I ever did. Last week was six years since I quit - hang in there!
Thanks for the support. I appreciate all the kind words. I'm feeling more level every day and I know that God will help me through this.
Hi Nebraska G!
You've got quite a strange ex. I always thought Nebraska was big enough that he could have picked just about anywhere and not bothered anyone. Guess I was wrong, seems like he is going out of his way to still have an effect on others. Hope you will be able to get past this distressing time and have some peace and happiness again soon.
Best wishes,
Skeeter
Hey Skeeter!
I am completely convinced that my ex is going out of his way to make my life hell. I however and tired of playing nice and have put my foot down a few times already this week. I've decided that it's time to stop being scared of what he's going to pull and just live my life and deal with his crap as it comes.
Tomorrow will be a week since he showed back up and I still haven't had a cigarette, so I'm doing good!
Hi Nebraska G!
That sounds like a good plan. You have your own life and he will just have to get used to that fact. Things change and so must he. Take care of yourself and resist the temptation to have a puff dear. I know it's tough. I'm a reformed smoker myself.
Best wishes,
Skeeter
He didn't go to church because he's a jerk. Jerks don't go to church, do they?? ANyway, I think I said once that he probably just wants to bug you. If he does go, it probably wont' be consistently.
I'm so proud of you for taking care of yourself; that is awesome. Don't let him take your power away. You deserve to be healthy :)
I want to thank everyone for their support. Even though I've never met any of you, your kindness means so much to me. Hope everyone is having a great day/week/month!
Make sure there are no cigarettes near you--no temptations!
And are you so sure that he does these things just to make you miserable, or is there a chance he wants to be closer to the kids? (I'm assuming that *your* kids are also *his* kids, please correct me if I'm wrong.)
Darren,
I'm sure a part of it is because he wants to be closer to the kids, but over the seven years we were together and the three years since we split I've noticed that he seems to get a kick out of manipulating me. He likes to toy with people. He's stalked me, read my emails (until I realized that he knew my password and changed it)repeatedly called HHS on me, and threatened to take the kids and disappear. There is no trust here and so I find it hard not to read too much into requests that seem reasonable.
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