An Update

So an update from my last post. I went in to talk to the kids' teachers today when i dropped them off at school. I needed to warn them of the situation so they can understand any behavioral changes that may occur. Lo and behold the ex and his 'fiancee" were enrolling her kids in school. Now we have two elementary schools in town, but God forbid he think it through before enrolling the kids at the same school. Her daughter and my daughter are in the same grade, which at this school means same class. *sigh*

Oh I almost forgot. Sunday evening when he dropped the kids off, he mentioned going to church that evening. The only church here that has a Sunday evening service is MY church. I go to a small church. By small I mean regular attendance is about 12 people. Some weeks we have more, some weeks less, but we are a small church that is trying to grow. However I at least felt that the addition of him and his new family were unwelcome. I did not say this to him, but I'm pretty sure the look on my face said it all. Hey, it was hard enough to keep my mouth shut! He didn't show for church, but had told the kids that he was going to, so Shorty was very upset. My baby cried, and I felt like dirt because I knew that he didn't go because of me. I can't imagine that he doesn't know that I'm not really happy with the fact that he's here.

I wish he would have thought of the intrusion he's making into my life. This is a small town. There are less than 4,000 here. Why does he have to squeeze himself into every aspect of my life? Why can't he discuss things with me before he makes promises to the kids? Why do I always have to be the bad guy?

I made it through the weekend with no cigarettes and no chocolate. I didn't eat emotionally either...I was too busy feeling nauseous. I'm trying not to let this derail my attempts at a healthier life, but it's really hard right now. Thanks for letting me vent.

Thank you for reading my blog and please feel free to comment.

That shattering sound is my sanity.

I got a call last night. My ex was on the phone to ask if he could see the kids. I was slightly confused because he lives 400 miles away.

Guess who moved 8 block away from my house...the person I despise most in the world! I quit smoking in February, but let me tell you it's really tempting to light one up right now.

I immediately texted my little brother because he's the person I find it easiest to spill out my heart to. He told me to let him know if the ex needs slapped around a bit. This made me laugh. I call him my little brother, but he's 6'3", 270 pounds and plays offensive line on his college team. He also stated that he has some big friends that he can bring with him.

So my whole life has been thrown into turmoil. I now have to deal with him being involved in their day to day life. Sports, concerts, possibly parent-teacher conferences are all no longer mine to enjoy. I now have to deal with him and how his actions affect the kids. I'll put it this way, if he was a nice person I would still be with him.

In other news, I'm taking more senior pictures tomorrow. I don't know the kid I'm taking pictures for, nor do I know his parents. His mom saw the picture of the girl from earlier in the summer and got my number from her mom. I have another set of pictures coming up in October that I'm taking for the same reason. The mother of that one actually saw the picture of the girl that I entered in the fair and tracked down the mom to ask about me. Wish me luck with those and pray for my sanity.

Thanks for reading my blog and please feel free to comment.

My eyes hurt

So a few weeks ago I went to the eye doctor because I've had the same pair of glasses for about 5 years and they are all scratched to heck. I decided it was time for a new pair, especially since my eyes were hurting after a day at work.

Spud talked me into trying contacts. So I picked out a new pair of glasses and learned how to put in contacts and was on my way. After about 5 hours I took out the contacts. We were at Spud's football game and it was windy and they were drying out and making my eyes hurt.

I faithfully wore the contacts daily for the first week. Every day my eyes would get irritated and I would end up rubbing them and then they'd get more irritated and turn red. I started wearing my new glasses more but still tried to wear the contacts.

But there was another problem...the prescription on the glasses wasn't strong enough. So on Saturday I was back at the eye doctor's office for a followup on my contacts. I told her how uncomfortable they were and she looked at them and decided that the material wasn't right for my eyes. She would have to order me something else. It was also decided that they needed to redo the lenses on my glasses. I managed to wear the contacts until today. My eyes hurt so bad today when I put them in that I just pulled them back out and threw them away.

Unfortunately I'm now stuck with my old glasses until the new glasses and contacts come in. They are so scratched and I got used to the clear lenses on my new ones that it's hard to see out of these.

I really hope the mailman brings me a present tomorrow!

Thanks for reading my blog, and please feel free to comment.

Back to blogging

I took a week off and left the post about Lewie at the top on purpose. It was my little tribute to him. So here's what's happened in the last couple weeks.

We had our last rodeo of the season on the 6th and 7th. It was quite a rodeo. Saturday was nice and cool, and the horses didn't buck worth a crap. It was disappointing. I did however get to see a bull rider get knocked out during his ride. I've known quite a few bull riders in my life. They come in two types, crazy and stupid. I'm not saying that they're not nice...many of them are. That doesn't stop them from being crazy or stupid.

Sunday it rained all day. Ahhh...I love a wet rodeo!


Monday Bub started cub scouts. I must have been out of my mind when i said yes to that.

Tuesday Shorty started soccer. She has a love/hate relationship with soccer. She likes to play, but loves to be goalie and gets annoyed if she doesn't get to be. She's a pretty good goalie too.




Hope everyone has had a great couple of weeks. Thanks for stopping by, and please feel free to comment.

The phone call you hate.

I got one of those phone calls today. My dad called and told me that L has passed away after a long, brave battle against lung cancer. I wrote about the last time I saw L on July 20, 2008. I'll figure out the link thing later.

I'd known L all my life and he was basically an uncle although his family and mine weren't blood related. He had a big booming voice, a wonderful laugh, told the greatest stories, was a wonderful hunter, made beautiful saddles, and was an all around wonderful man.

Tonight my heart is broken. His family lives at the opposite end of the state and with classes, work, and some recent car troubles, I'm not sure I'll be able to attend his service. It hurts so much to say that.

At the end of the family reunion in July, L gave me a big hug and said to me "Take care kiddo. I love you." I'm so glad I got to tell him I love him too. All too often we don't get or don't take that opportunity.

And because I know I never said it often enough, I love you Lewie, hope God loves your hunting stories as much as we did.

FOOTBALL!

Football season has begun. We spent Saturday at Spud's first college game. He didn't get much playing time, but he did get in the game and he played well when he was in. In high school he was a offensive and defensive tackle, now he's a center. It was fun being there for the game and I'm looking forward to many more in the years to come.

And of course, I took pictures.